I have no more pain to give No more suffering to cloak myself in No more heartbreak to wallow in. Now, days are just a little too bright Trials are a little too easy And I no longer carry a cloud of blights. How do I exist in this world of symmetry? I can’t cry to the moon and wear black in bravery. Oh! Now I’m just another sham. I should throw myself off the highest cliff and let myself be damned. Goodbye heartbreak Goodbye pain Goodbye years of suffering from which I’ve weaned. Until next we meet I will sit in silence, willing the darkness near so I can bask at its feet.
Oh how you wooed me. How you brought me to the edge and then back. How you promised me feelings of euphoria when I would just be sitting here – basking, waiting – yearning for the other. What do you have that I don’t have? These lies that you proffer and the pain that follows it’s just… it’s so much, and so little… If only these moments could last – the thrills, the good stuff, all the brilliant things but, they never do. Only pain follows. But still, I yearn. I want. I crave more. More of you? No. More of what you give me. More of what I get. You are my absent thrill… Always. And I thank you. I thank you for that. They say you’re my enemy, but you’re my friend – you’re one of my best friends! You’re always there for me, even though I know you’re killing me as I take you in… But, that’s not important. We all die soon anyway. Thank you for being there for me. My poison. My thrill.